I can already imagine the Comments. But what the hell ...
I Am Junk Man.
I am ... Garbage Man.
My curiosity knows no limits.
My appetite for the Undesirable is ... Always Unsated.
I read everything.
I talk to everybody.
(I am the guy in the grocery store applauding the long line ... so I have time to get ... all the way through ... the Enquirer.)
I love the ... "unwanted," intrusive INTERRUPTIONS ... that are ... The Spice of Life.
(Of course I am ANNOYED by those Unwanted Interruptions ... BUT THEN I DISCOVER THAT THEY ARE THE BASIS FOR 99% OF WHAT I LEARN THAT'S COOL.)
I never know where an Inspiration will come from.
(I do ... KNOW ... KNOW ... KNOW ... it will likely come from an un-likely-"UNWANTED" ... UNSOLICITED ... quarter!)
Junk Man (me) ... LOVES ... Junk Mail. (You never know ...)
Junk Man ... LOVES (here I go) ... most Spam.
(Not phishing however.)
Junk Man ... HATES ... Filters ... All Filters ... on Any Aspect of Life.
(Junk Man is still ... IRRITATED ... that his beloved wife signed up for the national No-call List. Junk Man misses the telecom solicitations at dinner time.)
Junk Man ... as a child ... had ... Inappropriate Friends.
(Blacks, Jews and Catholics were Spam in WASP world 50 years ago, when Junk Man was a 12-year-old Junior WASP. In those days we had Filters. Oh, did we have Filters ... such as laws that kept Spam from building in our WASP communities, for one example. Jim Crow was anti-Spam man, alive and well in those self-same, pre-MLKing, Ozzie-and-Harriet "idyllic" '50s.) (In 1960, when Junk Man was 18, there was a Breakthrough: Catholic Jack Kennedy spammed WASP-world ... and became President.)
It's a ... Philosophical Point!
Junk Man is a Libertarian!
Junk Man ... SPAMS ... Corporate Meetings with unwanted messages.
(A group of healthcare execs hires Junk Man to talk innocuously about "the future" ... and he calls them "killers" to their faces, based on Patient Safety Data—that the HC Execs don't think Junk Man ought to have access to.)
Junk Man ... LOVES ... Capitalism & Entrepreneurialism, where "unsolicited start-ups" crowd the competitive space of Orderly Oligopolists. (LISTEN UP: What else were Microsoft/Apple in 1982 to IBM if not Computer-industry Spam??? Unwanted, unauthorized, unsolicited, annoying, distracting, graceless, hippie boys sticking a juvenile finger in Daddy Blue's Private Monopolistic Pie! From Big Blue's perspective, fending off Microsoft-Apple was causing ... what else ... a Wretched Waste that led to loss of productivity!) (Isn't it true that everyone who makes the History Books does so because they ... Spammed the Establishment? Wasn't Tom Paine's 49-page Common Sense ... Maxi-Spam ... to Georgie-ThreeSticks-The-Big-Brit?)
Junk!
Celebrate it!
All ... SUPER-COOL THINGS ... start as ... Junk!
Hooray!