I can already imagine the Comments. But what the hell …
I Am Junk Man.
I am … Garbage Man.
My curiosity knows no limits.
My appetite for the Undesirable is … Always Unsated.
I read everything.
I talk to everybody.
(I am the guy in the grocery store applauding the long line … so I have time to get … all the way through … the Enquirer.)
I love the … “unwanted,” intrusive INTERRUPTIONS … that are … The Spice of Life.
(Of course I am ANNOYED by those Unwanted Interruptions … BUT THEN I DISCOVER THAT THEY ARE THE BASIS FOR 99% OF WHAT I LEARN THAT’S COOL.)
I never know where an Inspiration will come from.
(I do … KNOW … KNOW … KNOW … it will likely come from an un-likely-“UNWANTED” … UNSOLICITED … quarter!)
Junk Man (me) … LOVES … Junk Mail. (You never know …)
Junk Man … LOVES (here I go) … most Spam.
(Not phishing however.)
Junk Man … HATES … Filters … All Filters … on Any Aspect of Life.
(Junk Man is still … IRRITATED … that his beloved wife signed up for the national No-call List. Junk Man misses the telecom solicitations at dinner time.)
Junk Man … as a child … had … Inappropriate Friends.
(Blacks, Jews and Catholics were Spam in WASP world 50 years ago, when Junk Man was a 12-year-old Junior WASP. In those days we had Filters. Oh, did we have Filters … such as laws that kept Spam from building in our WASP communities, for one example. Jim Crow was anti-Spam man, alive and well in those self-same, pre-MLKing, Ozzie-and-Harriet “idyllic” ’50s.) (In 1960, when Junk Man was 18, there was a Breakthrough: Catholic Jack Kennedy spammed WASP-world … and became President.)
It’s a … Philosophical Point!
Junk Man is a Libertarian!
Junk Man … SPAMS … Corporate Meetings with unwanted messages.
(A group of healthcare execs hires Junk Man to talk innocuously about “the future” … and he calls them “killers” to their faces, based on Patient Safety Data—that the HC Execs don’t think Junk Man ought to have access to.)
Junk Man … LOVES … Capitalism & Entrepreneurialism, where “unsolicited start-ups” crowd the competitive space of Orderly Oligopolists. (LISTEN UP: What else were Microsoft/Apple in 1982 to IBM if not Computer-industry Spam??? Unwanted, unauthorized, unsolicited, annoying, distracting, graceless, hippie boys sticking a juvenile finger in Daddy Blue’s Private Monopolistic Pie! From Big Blue’s perspective, fending off Microsoft-Apple was causing … what else … a Wretched Waste that led to loss of productivity!) (Isn’t it true that everyone who makes the History Books does so because they … Spammed the Establishment? Wasn’t Tom Paine’s 49-page Common Sense … Maxi-Spam … to Georgie-ThreeSticks-The-Big-Brit?)
Junk!
Celebrate it!
All … SUPER-COOL THINGS … start as … Junk!
Hooray!